07/18/15
Smiling Moon

Eid

Gazing heavenwards
Searching the night sky in anticipation
I am greeted by her silver smile.
She weakly whispers
“Eid Mubarak to all”
Purified,
Rejuvenated, and
Spiritually charged,
We begin our journey afresh
For another year
Hoping to see Ramadan one more time.

10/31/12

Humbled

Humbled
I lay
Waiting to heal
And all I can do
Is think of you.

Immobilized
I lay
Glued to this bed
I keep remembering
Your last caress.

Alone
I lay
Miserably sad
With only my
Memories for company.

Scared
I lay
Hiding under sheets
Not knowing
When i’ll see you again.

Religiously
I lay
Awake in this bed
Begging for forgiveness
Repenting my sins.

I am humbled
My humility is killing me
Dont let me go out this way…

07/22/11
20141209-205314.jpg

Heat

I have banished the cold
For it was wicked,
And truth be told
It was decrepit.
I am heat,
I am bold,
I am triumphant.
But an intensity as mine
Must soften with time.
For I too, do wax and do wane
Like a flickering flame.
I will subside
For I must do so,
But stay open-eyed
Nay I’ll steal back so.

01/22/11

On being right

Its never really about being right, because being right is dependent on the perspective.

I’m sitting in my favorite restaurant in NY city, enjoying the explosive aftermath of flavors left behind by my lunch (yeah its spicey), and can’t help noticing this couple engaged in animated conversation.

It appears to be a whining session (or better known as “venting”). Apparently they both have a lot to say. I’m not really listening to them, just watching their body language, and its all about “I was right and this other person did this wrong to me”.

The great thing is watching them articulate (using body language) what they want to say. When the woman is talking she’s leaning towards the man, and the man leans back arms crossed, however, when he talks the woman gets back to eating but his arms uncross.

Then there’s silence. Some probing questions from the man, and she’s off again.

Very amusing I must say.

We as a species like to categorize and rationalize things, people, actions. Its cross cultural; in my example the man is indian and the woman is asian. The rationalization is done typically by associating said event with something we know or have experienced before.

Logic would dictate that the more interaction we have with different people the more varied or richer our context or language for categorization and hence rationalization.

Ultimately, what it really boils down to is opinions, and opinions are neither right nor wrong, they’re just opinions, its how we color them. The more we live life the more we can understand this intricately and infinitely richly woven tapestry of human behaviour. Well, that’s just my opinion… 😉

01/26/09

“Crazies”

Its sad, but I’m seeing them everywhere.

Is it the sign of the times? Bad economy, lost jobs, lost homes, lost loved ones?

This one guy in particular got me thinking.

Are they really crazy? I mean talking to yourself, mumbling, thinkin’ out loud, “sub-vocalization”, that’s all fine and dandy. But when does it turn into crazy talk?

Is it when your ‘imaginary’ friend starts an argument? Or when the ‘imaginary’ situation requires you to raise your voice? Or are these people stuck in-between dimensions (that can be very overwhelming)? Or are they communing with the dead (think ghosts), or angels, or devils, or what?

The human population is increasing, cities are swelling, growing, pushing beyond their boundaries and swallowing neighbouring towns and villages. But strangely (in an sad pathetic kind of way) I’ve gotten by a whole day without having a conversation with another fellow human being.

For example a typical day follows:

  • commute to work for one and a half hours (listening to my iPod),
  • sitting at my desk at work (headphones again listening to pandora as I hack code and reply to emails),
  • running out to grab some grub (the guy now knows me by face and more importantly knows my usual order),
  • train ride back (usually fall asleep and wake up drooling),
  • go to the gym (iPod again),
  • dinner infront of the telly,
  • more telly,
  • maybe some facebook, and
  • then finally sleep.

I may utter no more than a handful of incomplete sentences the whole day. Is this what we’ve been reduced to? This is not healthy. Could this be what makes ’em’ snap? Is it because there’s no one there to listen to them? So, if all they need is an ear, someone to talk to, why are we afraid to talk to them?

I mean, take myself, I’m a caring fellow, so, why don’t I go over and say “Hi!”? Now this is where I’m going to lose you (if I haven’t bored you already). Somehow, we’re being fed ideas that strangers are a dangerous murderous lot. One whose goals in life are not very nice (to say the least). They want to hurt you. They take pleasure in hurting you. Its our childhood conditioning, “Don’t talk to strangers”.
Why are we persisting these parental-fears into our adult life? I’m sure there’s some element of truth there, but are ALL of them so? Isn’t the murderous lot a minority? Aren’t they in jail somewhere? Aren’t the rest of them just a little lonely, lost, resigned to believe that this is all that life has to offer?

I’m writing this entry while I commute home. I have no idea who is sitting next to me (OK I just looked up and there’s no one there, maybe they saw me mumbling to myself as I was writing this). Eventually I’ll finish or get to my stop. But here’s a perfect example of another reason why I don’t feel the need to talk to someone. Another technological toy to distract me.

I have to ask “Why am I like this, am I dysfunctional?”, but then I see that the rest of my fellow commuters are ‘busy’ in some capacity. What happened? Where are we heading? ‘We’ being the collective human species.

Technology is supposed to enable us, to liberate us, to make us do more with less, instead its an ‘isolator’. I’ve let technology create this abstract layer between reality and myself.

I’ve resolved to become unplugged for a bit;

  • no more headphones,
  • no more iPod,
  • I’ll pick up the phone to “reach out and touch someone” instead of emailing,
  • I’ll ask my lunch buddy his name and greet him thus.

I really don’t want to become a crazy. And thats what I saw, when I looked at that guy. That crazy guy on the subway platform arguing with himself. That crazy guy who got me thinking, who, now that I think about it looked a lot like me.